Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
