So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
