dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
