Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
