On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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