Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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