Welp...herpes.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
