He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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