I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
