And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
