haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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