$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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