we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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