somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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