My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
