Only a mothe r could love this liver
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
