He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
