hotel room ftw
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
