There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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