You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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