she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
