You made me cry and you don't even care
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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