we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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