Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You may now shotgun with the bride
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
