Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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