I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
