I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
