margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
