Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
