Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
