I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
