I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
