i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
