Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
