Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
