Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
