There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
