ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she pinky promised me she was 18
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There's always time for handjobs
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
