Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
