I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
