I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
