But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
