im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
