if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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