the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
