omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
