my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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