I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
