I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
