Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
