planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
