I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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